I tried something new last week. And now I can’t get it out of my mind. I want more. I just keep thinking about it. I need a fix, dammit!
At first I was afraid. Should I try it? It never occurred to me that I might like it too much, just that it might be dangerous. Was it worth the risk? Was I really ready to… KAYAK??
Now, to get why this was such a big deal, there are a few things you need to understand about me.
#1 I am the clumsiest person on earth. I hurt myself walking. I once walked into my fridge. A FRIDGE, people. That’s a hard one to not see coming. The first (and only) time I went skiing, the instructor actually gave up on me. “You’re not going to get it. Why don’t you just sit down over there, honey?” Who knew they were even allowed to do that??
#2 I am TERRIFIED of water. I love the beach. I’m a strong swimmer. I’m in the water every chance I get. But I’m scared the whole time. Fear of drowning would be rational. That’s not my problem, though. No, I’m afraid of beasties. There are things in that water. And they can eat you. When I bring my nephews to the beach, I’ll go in the water with them all they want, but one of them always needs to be out just a few inches deeper than I am. Let’s call them what they are—shark bait. It’s not limited to just the shark fear, though. Fresh water freaks me out too. Have you ever seen The Raft??? If you see me periodically looking over my shoulder in your swimming pool, you shouldn’t be all that shocked. I know this isn’t rational. And that’s why I don’t give in to it. I’ve canoed, I’ve gone white-water rafting, I even snorkeled with sharks once just to prove the fear couldn’t beat me.
So given these 2 major obstacles, the fact that I got in the kayak and shoved off was huge in and of itself. But then came that feeling: I was doing it! And not only that, I was good at it! I glided along the water, feeling like I was flying. I pushed a little harder to go faster, laughing out loud at the sheer joy of it. I felt amazing—strong and powerful and free. I went back the next day, and did 4 miles, and loved it even more, with fewer tinges of fear. I worked up a whole fantasy in my head about how I was going to get myself a kayak. It would be so much fun, and such good exercise, and… then I remembered I live in New York City. The image of me kayaking along, dodging trash and the Staten Island ferry, holds a lot less appeal.
Polly says my type is the kind that will take risks and discover things like, “Hey! I’m good at kayaking!” And I love knowing that about myself. Are there other things out there that will give me that “Hey, look at me!!” feeling?? Preferably, things a little more compatible with an urban lifestyle?
Wednesday, August 1, 2007
Jonesin' for a Fix
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3 comments:
Bookgirl, your right! There are beasties in there that will eat you. I've convinced myself that they are at the bottom, though. When I was little and my family spent the weekends at Lake Cumberland, I wouldn't get in the water unless the depth finder said it was 60 feet deep. But, I love the water none the less.
Maybe you should try white water rafting. Now, I've never been to NYC, but I hear it's a big place, so there must be white water rafting, right?
Kayaking is fun. We have two that haven't gotten any use this summer. I would suggest ballroom dancing. I SO want to give that a whirl.
Liz, Upsate New York I could go white water rafting, but not so much in the city.
And 60-feet deep water is even scarier. That's big enough for whales. Or the Loch Ness monster. Or weird, prehistoric creatures that have been feeding at the bottom of the lake, just waiting for fresh prey. Okay, I have to go throw up now.
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