In college, I had a theory that if I ever died and went to Hell, it would be an eternity in Kinko’s during finals week. (I still shudder at the memory.) And for all these years, I’ve held firm by that belief. But no, as it turns out that’s not the case. What Hell REALLY looks like is the midtown Manhattan DMV.
The woman in front of me gave a 15-minute dissertation on who had died and left the car behind, and who it was left to, and who needed it now and... It was like Who’s on First. Except not funny. And I was stuck behind her.
The woman in front of HER spoke so little English that she was walking up to other Asian people at random and asking if they understood and could help her. She must have found someone who spoke the same language she did, because after the fourth or fifth try, a complete stranger translated for her. Keep in mind this was just for the guy you have the 15-second conversation with to explain what you need, so he knows where to send you. Now feel free to disagree with me, but if you don’t speak enough English to explain why you’re at the registry, isn’t it dangerous for you to be driving? How do you read signs? What happens if we get in an accident? What about if you get pulled over? And that whole question aside, WHY DIDN’T YOU BRING SOMEONE WITH YOU?? My grandmother lived in this country for almost 50 years and just flat-out refused to ever learn English (Yes, I come by my stubbornness honestly.), but she also never would have gone somewhere like the registry by herself.
But all that’s beside the point now, because I’ve got the license plates in my hot little hands. 
I’m heading to Massachusetts tomorrow to pick up the new car, and then we’re breaking her in with her very first road trip. Sarah and I are taking Ella and Jacques (ages 3 and 7) to Story Land in New Hampshire for their birthdays. It’s one of those amusement parks that every kid from New England went to on vacation, and I really wanted to be the one to take Ella for the first time. (By the same reasoning that made me buy her a Barbie and a Cabbage Patch Kid by the time she was 3 months, so no one else could do it before I did. I’m the godmother, dammit.)
I’ll be back Tuesday, with lots of pictures of the kids and the mountains and the car. Try not to miss me too much in the meantime.
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
So This Is What Hell Looks Like…
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12 comments:
A personalized license plate. Very cool. Do they actually let you have it in the font and everything? That's the real license plate, not Photoshopped? Or am I being gullible here?
NYC DMV> yikes. All dmvs are outposts of the devil but I imagine your glimpse into hell was very up close and personal.
But you've got a car.
Yay for a new car!
Here in my little farm town, the DMV is like eating cake. No problems, no lines. Seriously.
So, where are all the new pics already? Don't you know some of us don't have lives and have to live vicariously through others? ;)
And I seriously want my question about the license plate answered.
I think you answered your own question---
Yeah, I suppose the DMV isn't exactly going to let us start playing with the fonts on our license plates, but it would be fun if they did.
Diosa, Sorry. I wasn't ignoring you. I thought you were being sarcastic. No, my car has regular old boring plates, but I decided to design some special ones for the blog, in case anyone had stalker-like tendencies.
Liz, I hate you a little right now.
Anon, sheesh. You people are so impatient! But I posted a whole slew of pictures. If that's not enough for you, let me know.
Yeah, I can see why you would think I was being sarcastic. I just want you to have a license plate that looks like that.
I want a license plate that looks like that too. How cool would that be?? And speaking of, Di, I get oodles of compliments on my header and my signature. You captured me perfectly, and they make me happy every time I see them.
more, more, more!
Looking a little closer I can blatantly see it's Photoshopped, but you know how you can see what you want to see?
So glad you're happy with the header and signature. It's like the perfect cover for your journal that when you open it up, it makes you want to write and be creative, isn't it?
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