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My friend Midge has been working really hard at changing her life. (If she were here as I wrote this, she’d want me to add that no, that’s not her real name; no, she’s not an 80-year-old woman; she’s not really a midget; and even though it was bestowed affectionately, she likes this nickname a lot less than I do.) But that’s not the point. The point is that she has been working her ass off at making her life the one she dreams of. She’s doing seminars, taking leadership training, working on changing decades of set patterns in her life.

Even though I tease her about having drunk the Kool-Aid (it was the first seminar that set her on this path), the truth is that I’m really inspired by her. We all have those things about our lives we want to change. The things we complain about while lying on our asses on the couch watching television, doing absolutely nothing about them. But she’s actually going out there and trying to do something about hers. And on top of it all, she’s been doing all sorts of volunteer work, to take the focus off just making herself better and pointing some of that energy outward.

I have a quote from Mahatma Gandhi tucked into my bedroom mirror: “Be the change you want to see in the world.” And while I really do agree with the sentiment, sometimes I lose touch with it. I forget that I want to be the person who does things to make other people’s lives a little brighter, not just the person who’s devoted all her non-working hours to getting thinner. I can remember being a teenager and having one of my New Years resolutions be to do something nice for someone every day. Teenage optimism, however, doesn’t always translate well to adulthood.

So with Midge as an inspiration, I researched some volunteer opportunities and spent Tuesday night reading with kids in a homeless shelter. My group was five- and six-year-olds, and absolutely adorable. Of course I fell madly in love with one of them, and briefly considered tucking him into my purse. But that won’t surprise anyone who knows me. It’s funny, really, how selfish it can feel to be unselfish. How I always seem to get more out of the nice gestures than I put in. I’ve been focusing so much on creating less of me that I forgot, for a little while, how good it feels to be more. Thanks, Midge, for the reminder.